Have you ever asked yourself how many cultures you live in?
As I’m using the term here, a culture is a group of people who share a set of habits, behaviors, traditions and values. A culture is shaped in part by what we encourage and reward.
From the point of view of the Dignity Index, when we can get money, fame, power and belonging for mocking the other side, we’re living in a culture of contempt – a culture that rewards us for using contempt. When we get stature and respect for treating others with dignity even when we disagree, we’re living in a culture of dignity – a culture that rewards us for using dignity.
Of course, some of the cultures we live in are mixed – but many have a very distinctive orientation toward dignity and contempt. Let me ask you to consider for a minute the different levels of dignity and contempt that are encouraged in the different cultures that make up your life – from our home and family, to friends and communities, to your workplace, to the media ecosystem you inhabit, to the political culture you’re a part of.
But if you had to guess – what is the culture that most values, encourages and rewards treating each another with dignity?
What is the culture that most encourages – or tolerates – treating each other with contempt?
Now consider another question: what is the culture you are a part of that most values and encourages treating people outside that culture, with dignity? And what is the culture that most encourages or tolerates treating people outside that culture with contempt. Is there any culture you’re a part of that basically makes treating outsiders with contempt a requirement of belonging?
Now, here’s one more question: of all the cultures you’re a part of – which is the culture you have the most power to shape? Which is the culture you have the least power to shape?
Of course, cultures overlap. But would you say that the culture of politics you inhabit makes it sometimes hard to uphold dignity in the other cultures where you live – in your family perhaps?
Here’s the point I’m getting at:
We have seen in our work that individuals have very little power to change the larger culture. It takes a culture to change a culture. And our approach to changing the larger culture is to support the growth of dignity sub-cultures by working with people who are in a position to shape the culture of the community they lead or belong to. This includes everyone from corporate leaders, to governors, to university presidents and school superintendents, to teachers and students and parents and children.
No matter how powerful and oppressive the culture of contempt is, we all have the power to create subcultures of dignity. So if you’re tired of the hostility in our political culture, your best response is not to rail against the people on the other side. That’s just adding to the culture of contempt.
Of course, you should always stand up for what you believe in – that’s just treating yourself with dignity. But at the end of the day, the culture you return home to is the one you likely have the best chance to shape. Make your home a dignity culture – it’s the best thing you can possibly do for your family and your country.
Tom
