"Listening Louder"

By: Tami Pyfer

As we prepare to close the final pages of 2024 – reflecting on successes and disappointments; challenges and surprises – I’m also preparing to close a chapter of my life which began nine years ago. One that has brought me immense growth and satisfaction. 

Since 2016 I’ve served as a volunteer with the 360-voice Tabernacle Choir at Temple Square (formerly known as the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) – seven years singing in the Choir followed by two years leading guest relations. Singing in the choir requires a time commitment of 10 to 20 hours a week for rehearsals, a live Sunday broadcast, a heavy amount of memorization, and of course, a lot of singing!

It’s an extraordinary experience that is not easily described, but words like demanding, humbling, inspiring, exhausting, and exhilarating come close. It’s also been an experience that has taught me countless lessons – many that I’ve applied to my work at UNITE. 

One of these unforgettable lessons came from a frequent admonition by our conductor, renowned composer Mack Wilberg, who would often tell us to “listen louder than you sing.” As a new Choir member I thought the instruction was a bit odd (how do you listen louder?!). Then one day I decided to record myself during rehearsal so I could more easily memorize my part, and it all started to make sense.

As many choir members do, I used an app on my cell phone to record myself, which highlighted my part against the backdrop of the larger choir and orchestra. I thought that practicing with a recording would be easier and more efficient than plunking out my part on the piano. But the first time I replayed my voice recording I was mortified. I was painfully off-pitch, and the louder I sang the more out-of-tune I was. It was a gut punch. I was embarrassed and wondered how I possibly belonged in the Choir (how did I pass the audition in the first place?!).

Singing solos or duets or in smaller choirs and ensembles for 40 years was very different from singing with hundreds of voices and I was suddenly filled with self-doubt. After weeks of stewing and fretting and barely mouthing the words during subsequent rehearsals, I finally realized that the answer to my predicament was to simply follow Mack’s advice and start listening louder than I sang: if I couldn't clearly hear the women to my right, and my left, then I was singing too loudly, and risked the ability to blend – on pitch. Thankfully, his advice made all the difference and I began to sing with renewed confidence, and humility. 

I laugh about this now, especially since I’ve had numerous conversations with fellow altos who, as newbies, had this same experience and the same horrifying realization: “Do I really sound like this?!” But I also reflect on this experience when I get caught up in a controversial issue or difficult conversation or an intense strategy session and I tend to see only my side of the story. I have learned to remind myself that maybe I’m the one who’s off-key: maybe I need to “listen a bit louder” (a SEVEN on the Dignity Index!).

There are so many other lessons I’ve learned in the Choir - from appreciating the beauty of competing melodies and dissonant harmonies, to understanding the richness that comes from the wide variety of tones and timbres that each vocalist and instrumentalist brings to the group. 

Recently, my Choir colleague Derrick Porter, who presents weekly spoken messages during the Sunday broadcast, highlighted Mack’s frequent advice to “listen louder than you sing.” Derrick wrote:

“The choirs of life are made up of families, communities, and workplace associations to name a few. Each of these choirs includes people who are unique and different. The diversity of voices and life experiences matters and when listened to, can add to the beautiful crescendo of songs that a choir sings. As we listen louder than we sing, we discover the beauty of our neighbor’s voice. We hear and feel their contribution. When we really listen, our voices can then complement theirs in a way that builds, sustains, and uplifts.”

America has been described as a melting pot, a salad bowl, and even a potluck. For me, at our best we are an enormous choir, bringing our unique voices together to create moving and magnificent music. My challenge – and goal for 2025 – is to simply listen louder than I sing.

With gratitude --

Tami

PS: This is one of my favorite Choir experiences, from October of last year when the Morehouse and Spelman Glee Clubs joined the Tabernacle Choir on their Sunday Broadcast. Conductors Dr. David Morrow and Dr. Kevin Johnson led their groups in featured pieces, and joined the Tabernacle Choir on several songs, including this stunning rendition of "What a Wonderful World."

Please take a few minutes to watch! (You'll be glad you did!)

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Click below to watch Tim Shriver's 2025 Wishes. 🎉 Let’s make this new year a year of dignity.