I don’t know anyone who isn’t trying to figure out how to limit and manage their smartphones. Doom scrolling, constant contempt, and endless distraction are tearing us apart. I’m reminded of the old TV series, “Get Smart,” where agent Maxwell Smart used his shoe for a phone. If only we all had to keep our phones in our shoes!
But today, our phones can feel like an addiction. “I became overwhelmed and overstimulated,” one woman wrote, “feeling obligated to always stay plugged in. Even when I didn’t need to be, it became a habit to pick up my phone and keep scrolling or answering emails. Between working online, trying to keep in touch with friends, and occasionally Googling random things like ‘world record for biggest pizza’ at 2 a.m., I realized it was time to find a way to limit the time on my phone.”
Guess who wrote those words? Answer: Sara Kuburic, a psychotherapist who helps clients manage social media! Even she can barely manage! Honestly, it made me feel better to know that she was having a hard time just like me.
In the dignity movement, we believe that the “contempt industrial complex” that comes to us largely through our phones is trying to keep us addicted, fearful, and angry. But here’s my dilemma: I want to be informed and connected, but I don’t want to be distracted and destructive. How do I do that?
There’s a large and rapidly growing wave of policies and laws aimed at helping us regulate the harm caused by the “contempt industrial complex.” There are increasing numbers of “phone-free” schools in states like California, Kansas, New Jersey, and more. Then there are states like Massachusetts that are considering banning social media for children under 14 or requiring parental consent. More than 30 states have instituted some form of partial restrictions in schools, while Australia has implemented a world-first ban prohibiting children under 16 from holding accounts on social media platforms like TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, and YouTube.
All this runs into opposition from free speech defenders, and it’s not clear how regulations will evolve. And one way or another, policies aren’t going to solve this problem for us. Pew research suggests that 95% of teenagers have smartphones, and other polls suggest they spend, on average, 4.8 hours a day on social sites. The challenge of how to manage isn’t going away.
And many are already taking steps on their own. My son Sam, for example, has a “flip phone” which allows him to communicate with others but has almost no social or news apps. Interest in them is growing rapidly. Students at St. John’s College in New Mexico recently organized a week-long “tech fast.” Several friends of mine have created “phone-free Sundays.” Others have created times of the day when they don’t use their phones—dinner for example--or after 7 pm.
The dignity movement isn’t primarily about what we do less, however. Our question is always, what can we do more? Our colleagues at “More In Common,” for example, just reported that “more than 8 in 10 Democrats and Republicans support national service,” which has been shown to develop healthy belonging and connection. When we serve, we don’t reach conclusions about other people by what social media tells us; we reach conclusions about other people because we share a common purpose with them. To put down our phones and be willing to serve a common purpose: that’s dignity in action.
Thousands of organizations are ready to welcome all of us to serve, even if we only have a little time. Last week, I was at Bush Hill Elementary School in Virginia, where I was honored to recognize the students, teachers, families, and staff for achieving “Banner” status as a Special Olympics “Unified Champion School.”
