Help Seeking!

When I called Charlamagne tha God, the long-time host of “The Breakfast Club,” to share the new findings from the first-ever Dignity Barometer, he listened for a minute to the numbers. I told him that 94% of Americans believe we should treat each other with dignity. “Isn’t that amazing?” I said. “We’re always told that we are far apart on everything, but the Barometer proves we’re actually totally aligned on dignity.”  

Then I shared the bad news: only 31% of us feel that we’re actually meeting our own standard! “Americans believe that everyone should be treated with dignity, but we don’t believe we’re meeting that standard,” I said. “We call that gap between how we believe and how we act, ‘The Dignity Gap.’ Americans believe in dignity, but we don’t believe we’re living it!” 

Watch Replay: Dignity in America Webinar

Before I could say more, he said, “I know about the gap! I’m with that 94%. I agree everyone should be treated with dignity. But last week, I had to make an emergency call to my therapist because I was being consumed by hate. There was this person who was just driving me into a dark place. I couldn’t take it. I needed help.”  

In that moment, I realized that Charlamagne was actually a role model for our country. When he felt a level of anger and hatred that he didn’t like, he sought help.  That’s a form of social and emotional genius in my book—the capacity to know when you’re not okay and to get help to address whatever the challenge might be. Too many of us never take that step to ask for help—maybe because we’re embarrassed or maybe because we think we can manage on our own. For a lot of us, seeking help is hard.

But not seeking help often makes things worse. The data suggests that a lot of us feel that way. 32% of us report that contempt has damaged a relationship with a close friend or family member. 92% feel that contempt “makes it hard to talk to each other and almost impossible to solve problems.” It’s no surprise that 77% of us think things are getting worse.  

But help just might be on the way. On the bright side, we want to change and believe we can. 72% of us feel that it’s possible to heal or ease these same divisions. 87% believe that if contempt tears us apart, dignity can help bring us back together. But it’s clear—most of us don’t know how to affect change.

Charlamagne is pointing to the first step: ask for help! If we’re going to overcome the culture of contempt, we need each other. We need to listen to each other, to ask each other for understanding, to have humility with each other. 91% said that they had listened fully to another person to understand before responding. One respondent said it simply: “It’s not too late to change.”

Our recipe for change is pretty simple: start with yourself. Earlier this week, I presented our dignity movement to the World Community of Christian Meditation—hundreds of people who believe in the power of silence and meditation.

I compared our conviction that everyone deserves dignity to the great spiritual traditions that all seem to agree with the 20th-century spiritual master Thomas Merton, who wrote that there is a part of us that is “the pure glory of God in us…It is like a pure diamond, blazing with the invisible light of heaven.”

“It is in everybody, and if we could see it, we would see these billions of points of light coming together in the face and blaze of a sun that would make all the darkness and cruelty of life vanish completely... It is only given. But the gate of heaven is everywhere.” The spiritual teachers are clear: awaken to the dignity in yourself and in everyone else, too. That’s a formula for change!

This week, many Christians and Jews are celebrating Holy Week and Passover.  There are many rituals associated with these feast days—readings of liberation, practices of confession, rituals of service, and celebrations of rebirth. I, for one, love them all! 

For all of you who are celebrating, I wish you grace and blessings. And for all of us, I pray for an awakening to what we already believe: an awakening to the dignity in all and a celebration of the gate of heaven that is everywhere if only we seek it, if only we ask each other for help in opening it. 

Tim Shriver

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Click to Watch: Dignity in America Webinar - Findings from the First-ever Dignity Barometer

Dignity in Action

It's been a busy two weeks for the Dignity.Us team!!! The growing interest in the Dignity Index and the work to build dignity cultures has us traveling from coast to coast; speaking to groups large and small; and engaging with city and town leaders, community service organizations, school leaders and PTA volunteers, national advocacy organizations, and more! The Dignity Movement is on the move!

It was exciting to have Tim speak at the National League of Cities 2026 Congressional City Conference in Washington, D.C. His panel, "We the Cities: Bridging Our Divides" was a follow-up to the NLC’s launch of their Resolution to Lead with Civility, Dignity, and Respect — which included a challenge for all the country’s cities and towns to develop their own resolution or pledge. We are proud to be partnering with the NLC on this important work! (Contact your city officials and ask if they are creating their own pledge!)

Madeleine presented the Dignity Index at this year’s AmeriCorps and UServeUtah annual meeting. This group is exemplary in its commitment to service and volunteerism, and it was an honor to engage with individuals so dedicated to strengthening their communities.

Tami and Gerri spent two days on a California road trip! Their trip began in northern California in Mountain View, where they presented a workshop to managers and city leadership, and learned about the great work happening there. Lots of lively conversations!

They then made their way down to Ojai to present to a gathering of civic and community leaders, sponsored by the Ojai Rotary Club. Business, and government, and education were all represented in this community event!  

Then it was off to Irvine to meet with PTA leaders (and students!) from throughout Orange County. They finished up in California connecting with Meghan and presenting to school board members and school district leaders from across Orange County. They enjoyed meeting with middle school student body officers and high school students interested in bringing the Dignity Index to their schools!

Back in Utah, Karren and Preston presented a keynote and two breakout sessions to the Park City School District, whose leaders are launching a deep engagement with the Dignity Index K-12 team!

And most recently, Gerri and Tami had a wonderful time meeting with Mayors and other leaders from the 31 municipalities in Broward County, Florida. The weather in Ft. Lauderdale was beautiful, and the conversations with these dedicated public servants were amazing! We can't wait to get back to Florida!

Upcoming Events

We’re SO excited to share that Tami will be taking the stage at a special TED Democracy in Philadelphia event this June!

We’re proud to see Dignity on a stage like this, and even more excited about what it means for the future of this work. Click HERE to learn more.